Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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