Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult