our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Dating After Heartbreak
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!