You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We need to rekindle our bromance
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I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
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But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again