just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
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I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
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I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!