Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
operation have a gay friend backfired
my being single is dangerous.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it