I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
