I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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