we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
