i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
