i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
