You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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