two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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