Cold hands, warm shart.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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