She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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