they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
