Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
No subtext here. People are naked.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
