Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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