They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
