oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize