HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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