let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
