he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
