Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
