Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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