I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
