I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
