She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
