holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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