That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I've blown a few things in my day
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
