oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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