Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
