I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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