first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize