Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
