Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
