So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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