So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
