WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
