My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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