As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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