No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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