Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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