If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
