oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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