im about as happy as oj after his trial
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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