At least make sure they are 18
Why
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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