She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize