He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
