He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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