Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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