i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
