Pappa wants mamma naked
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
