Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
