It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
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