Do vagina's smell?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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