We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
