I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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