i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
