Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
honey bunches of taint.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
