My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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