sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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