Can Purell be used as lube?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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