I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize