Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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