He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
