Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
