I never want to see another naked old woman again.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
