okay pat passed out under dana's car
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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